


Maybe next June...

by MurderRose



Series: Corona Drabbles [14]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Admiration, Gen, Idols, Parades, Pride Parades, Queer Themes, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23433067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderRose/pseuds/MurderRose
Summary: Seungcheol lived in admiration of those stronger than himself and in shame, constant shame, that he wasn’t good enough.
Series: Corona Drabbles [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674001
Kudos: 25





	Maybe next June...

**Author's Note:**

> Tis I!
> 
> Parade and Admiration... so of course I thought Pride Parades?  
> I've never actually been to one, I don't feel the need to shout my identity, but I've been to Pride Events. I am ace and a 'woman who likes women', but queer is the term I prefer, so I'm not being derogatory, please don't come for me.  
> Similarly, I'm not saying anything concrete about any idol, take it with a pince of salt and a healthy amount of googling.
> 
> Characters are their own, this is fiction.
> 
> Enjoy!

Seungcheol lived in admiration of those stronger than himself and in shame, constant shame, that he wasn’t good enough.

June rolled around every year, and each year he thought,  _ next year _ , and each year he felt pathetic. Useless. A fraud.

This year, this year he tried. Wore as much rainbow as he could conceivably fit on his person, hell Jihoon wore some too, but he still didn’t have the courage to go to the parade. He didn’t have the courage. Oh he could excuse it, and did excuse it, as keeping up the Seventeen image, but let’s be honest. If Joshua could get on a flight to America unseen, and Joshua had some  _ militant _ fans, then they could get Seungcheol in and out of a Pride Parade unseen. It wouldn’t be easy, but not hard enough to not do it.

He looked at other groups. People who were so strong and who had the strength to say how they felt and what they identified as. Wonho had said that “gender didn’t matter as long as you can cook ramen” and just. Wonho was so smooth. If only he could be as smooth as that.

It wasn’t like it would really be taboo. So many of the idols he knew were gay or bi or something, and so many of the behind the scenes people. 

Even fanbases weren’t particularly straight. Seungcheol knew they had queer carats, someone even asked them if they had a message for them, thank God it was in the USA and Vernon could answer that! Mamamoo’s fanbase was notably female, and a fair bit queer too. It wouldn’t ruin them.

But it could!! It could ruin them, there were thirteen of them, they were all guys, if he came out then there’d be the inevitable questions about “did you ever have a crush on one of your members?” and “if you would kiss a member…” and it would just ruin everything. It wouldn’t be fair to push that onto them. If he came out, then maybe other members who weren’t straight wouldn’t be able to come out. Maybe if he came out, Management would say, only one gay. He didn’t think so, but it was Possible.

And he couldn’t bear to think of the theories. The Theories. They were bad enough at the moment, so so many, every word he said was analysed and reanalysed and dissected and cross referenced with things he had previously said or that members had said, and it was honestly so tiring. 

Oh and the “your ideal type” questions would be worse. As if they weren’t already read into?

Just because you’re queer doesn’t mean that you’re into your friends. Doesn’t mean you’re not. Friendship isn’t the great barrier that people, people worried about the “friendzone”, thought that it was. Sometimes friendship was the foundation, for a crush, for falling for someone.

  
  


Maybe next June he’d say something more than wearing a rainbow.

Maybe next June he’d be brave enough.

Maybe next June.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you thought in the comments below!
> 
> Rose x
> 
> [Come talk to me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseEnDiamant)


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